Ohhh to be a little darker...

Being pasty white in a relatively 'tan' country has its advantages and its disadvantages. I mean it's slightly awkward as our family of 4 walks down the street- clearly we don't fit in! But on the other hand my fair skinned, blonde haired girls (something the people here have NEVER seen before) do open up lots opportunities to talk to knew people. However, today is one of those days that I'm not feeling very thankful for my skin color! As we sit in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for a routine pregnancy check up, I'm wishing I were a bit tanner- and also that I spoke the language a bit better! We've been sitting here for almost 2 hours and new patients have come and gone and here we are- all 4 of us- still waiting! I'm not sure why-- I mean they don't make appointments and I was here first, but it doesn't matter, sometimes we just get bumped to the end of the line! Normally I'm pretty patient with things like this but right now I have got to pee! I'm pregnant, I always have to pee! But right not I can't go because the doctor wants my bladder full!!! Maybe, just maybe if I weren't a foreigner, I wouldn't be sitting here doing a pee-pee dance!!! Haha ok rant over!

Who Knew?

Who knew this whole “moving across the ocean, studying a new language, starting your first born in kindergarten, and leaving your youngest at home with 2 strangers” thing would be overwhelming?!?! Oh I forgot to add being pregnant!

Although people who have “been there, done that” may have tried to warn me, there’s just nothing that can really prepare someone for this!

Lately the only word to describe how I’ve been feeling is overwhelmed (well that and nauseous!). We are trying to plan when this baby should be born (I know, right, like I can decide that!). I guess I should say how far in advance we should travel to the city 3 hours away (or more depending on traffic) where we are going to deliver. I was thinking I would go 2 weeks early- Brooklyn was a week early and they don’t want baby #3 getting to be as big as her (9lbs 5oz), especially since she got stuck while trying to make her entrance into the world! However, that is right in the middle of unit 8 of language study! And right before B’s K5 graduation! And we also can’t come back to our house until New Baby has a passport. And right after the baby comes we have to fly to a new city for a week of company meetings—with a 4 week old!

All this isn’t really about the new baby. I’ve had a baby before….2 actually…. But this time it's different. As I walk around the streets of SEA I see nothing but lostness. It is so hard to have the truth and to just want to share….and then remember “Oh yes, I’m still only in unit 3 and I just told someone I flew here on a nurse…oops I mean a plane!” (yes, those words are almost the same in SEA- who knew!) What if I say the wrong things? What if they don’t want to believe? What if I fail?

These things keep running through my mind, these doubts. Yet as I went to pick B up from school the other day G0d reminded me of two things: 1. It isn’t my job to save the people- its HIS! In Acts, Je$u$ says we are to be His witne$$es, and 2. Learning a new language isn’t the only way to be His witne$$! 1 Cor 13 begins by saying, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” Who cares if I learn the language but I’ve only been running around here stressed! It’s kinda hard to love people when you’re stressed, wouldn’t you say? Normally I breeze right through that verse…”Yah yah tongues….we don’t believe in that any more!” But now, now that I’m sitting here right now learning the language (well actually I should be sitting here right now studying!), the verse has a whole new message: Nothing Annette is doing right now is of any value if I’m not living a life full of love! WoW

Although I’m trying to look at this whole experience in a new light, I can’t help but wish I could just throw my language book up to Him and that tomorrow I would know it all (aren’t we told to cast all our cares on Him?? I know…bad hermeneutics!) Pr@y that Hubby and I will be diligent in studying and that some how we will master this language…sooner rather than later!

The text that changed everything....

WoW! I can't believe how long its been since I last updated! Worst Blogger Ever (spoken like Rapunzel in Tangled). I want to start off by saying I did think about updating, but I never wanted to...not because I didn't want to update, but because I knew it would surface the many emotions that I was trying to avoid. So....here goes....

It was Monday night on July 8th. Handsome Boy (sorry I just had too! B used to call her Daddy Handsome Boy!) anyway...Handsome Boy and I were sitting in bed laughing and talking about our crazy new experiences. It was late, like 11:30 P.M. late. As we were talking, my phone bleeped. Seriously...who is texting me this late?!?! As I picked up my phone, I read the four words that changed everything..."Mamma isn't doing well..." Hubby kept talking, but I have no idea what he said. Everything became a big blur. I knew Mamma (my mom's mom) hadn't been "doing well" for sometime. I mean she was getting older. She had been put on oxygen. She needed to be pushed in a wheel chair when we took her to the mall to buy her a new hat. She didn’t cook anymore. But last time I saw her, she was “just fine.” As I read the text, I knew it was serious. I couldn't speak. Tears just flowed. I passed the phone to Hubby, who wrapped his loving arms around me. We soon found out that basically (I don't pretend to understand medical things) Mamma's body had been too weak for the past few months to exhale the carbon monoxide and it had been slowly poisoning her body. By the time the doctors realized the problem, there was no going back. There was no way to correct the damage. Mamma wasn't going to last much longer. Just 3 weeks earlier I said goodbye to Mamma as we headed for the airport to fly to the other side of the world. As I looked at Mamma sitting in "her chair," I prayed, "Lord, please, please let her live 3 more years!"  NOOOO!!! God I did not say 3 weeks!!! I still want to talk to Mamma! I want to send her pictures of my growing children! I want her to be in "her chair" when I get back to the States! I want my girls to know her! But now it’s too late.... none of that will ever happen... on July 10th 2013, Mamma went to be with Jesus...

I felt alone. I have a wonderful husband, but I wanted my mom, my sister, my cousins, my brothers....No one here in SEA knew Mamma like we all did. I couldn't sit here and laugh and cry as we all told wonderful stories about the amazing woman Mamma was. Stories about staying up late to play Rummy and Sequence. Stories about Mamma sitting outside her tentel at Camp Spofford. Who always had an extra (insert random item you forgot to pack)?--Mamma did! Stories of amazing gravy and KrumKake! Stories of how Mamma was always so kind and so polite and so willing to give even if she had to do without! But no one was here...no one was here to cry with me.

During this time in SEA, we had a language tutor to help us before we officially started language school (visa problems!) and a city tour guide to show us all the exciting sites in the Big City. I wanted to stay in my bed and cry all day (I actually wanted to go home, but didn't have $5000 just chillin' in my wallet) but instead I had to slap on a smile and tour the volcano. Don't get me wrong, it helped the time pass, but every day it just seemed like the world was running in super speed and I was standing still, lost and confused. I didn't know what to do, what to say, what to tell people. I just stood there.

Mamma's funeral was on Friday, July 12th at 7 pm. In SEA, that's Saturday, July 13th at 6 am. The service was going to be broadcasted live so I set my alarm for 5:30 am. It didn't matter how early the alarm went off- I couldn't sleep anyway. It was dark outside. I didn't want to wake the girls, so I quietly went into the office and shut the door. I could have woken Hubby, but I just wanted to be alone. I sat in this very chair and watched my grandmother’s funeral. I saw Pappa….Pappa I’m so sorry! I wish I could be there and wrap my arms around you and tell you how much I miss Mamma. I saw my mom….my mom who had just lost her mom. I can’t imagine life without my mom! I can’t imagine what she is feeling right now! I saw everyone crying and hugging and laughing. I heard beautiful stories about how Mamma prayed for all her children and her grandchildren and her great-grandchildren (those of you who know my family know that’s a LOT of people!). I heard how God allowed Mamma to hang in there until her sister arrived from Canada. It was beautiful!

What is even more beautiful is the place where Mamma is now! She trusted Jesus as her Savior and today she is walking …no running….on streets of gold. Although I know I will see her again someday, I miss her now! When I left for SEA, I still had 4 living grandparents. The last family member who passed away was Mamma’s mother—when I was 9. That was a long time ago, and I didn’t really even know what was going on. Grieving is hard- I’m pretty sure I don’t want to deal with it again, especially from the other side of the world!

G0d called my family to SEA, and in SEA we will stay. Even when things are rough and I just want to hide under a rock, I know the Rock will protect me! Sometimes we just can’t make it on our own and we need a reminder of the Solid Ground we have built our lives on.

Now that I’m done crying (for now), I going to go eat dinner with my kiddos! Sempai Jumpa… (Until next time…)

Tortillas, squatty potties, and angry drivers

These past few days have been filled with firsts- some more exciting than others. To start off with, I MADE TORTILLAS!!! Since tortillas aren't available at our local grocery mart, and where they are available (45 min away), they are about $5 a pack, I decided to attempt to make my own. It was pretty simple (flour, butter, salt and water), but lots of rolling involved (who would of thought tortillas needed to be rolled flat as paper!). I think the receipe I used was for the little fajita size because they turned out super small. Mental note: Next time only divide the dough into 6 balls instead of 12! Not too shabby for a 1st timer!

 

Today, Hubby and I decided to leave the girls with the helpers (that’s for sure a first!) and head to the grocery store. We were doing great with time until the very end. It was around that time that I became aware of the fact that I needed to pee. But it was ok, I'm a big girl...I could hold it till we got home.  I grabbed some oranges and went to the man at the weight station. He put a price label on them saying they cost about $6.50---for ORANGES! No way! I’m pretty sure the sign said they were $1.40/some weight and I knew they didn’t weigh that much…not $7 worth. So being the American that I am, I tried to ask someone. They had no idea why the weight machine kept printing out expensive stickers, so they disappeared ….for a long loooong looong time (did I mention I was doing the pee dance at this point!). Ten minutes later someone else walks up to the sticker machine and prints another sticker-- $2.50! Much better! As I’m paying for the oranges I realized that there was no way I was making it home- Squatty Potty here I come! Now I can’t honestly say this was a first- I did pee in a squatty potty once when I was in China seven years ago! But you know how when you are at ch—ch and they have all the first time visitors stand up, and then they add “or first time in a long time…” well I figured since this was my “first time in a long time” that I would add it in here :) After I was finished peeing (and hands were thoroughly sanitized) I got in the car with Hubby and announced: “I didn’t even pee on myself!” His response was: “Did you get it in the toilet?” Really Hun?? Really!!!  Yes I got in in the Toilet!!! Haha ok sorry I just had to add that in here!

Moving on to more exciting things…some friends of ours were going into Big City to see Monsters Inc/University. We decided that since Hubby has been doing to great driving around Language City, that he would drive to Big City, following our friends. Did you just pee yourself from laughter???  Yes we really thought it was possible to follow someone in SEA for an hour long drive in traffic. Have I mentioned the crazy motorcycle drivers? Well, all was going well until Hubby slightly bumped a car that pulled out in front of us! Ahhh! I didn’t even feel it, but all of a sudden a very angry man got out of his car and started yelling in another language. He motioned for us to get to the left side of the road (we were on the far right in stand still traffic). We could clearly see that NOTHING happened to his car- not even a scratch! We tried asking him what he wanted from us since his car was fine, but he just kept yelling in SEA language.  Traffic started moving…We said we were sorry over and over again and then tried to drive off (did I mention we had now lost the car we were following and we had no idea where we were going?). So we start driving, and lo and behold angry man takes off and pulls in front of us and blocks all flowing traffic. He gets out yet again and starts yelling (this time in English…surprise surprise…he does speak English…and VERY WELL!) “Why you try to run!!! You have driver’s license? Give it to me or I will call the police!” We explained that we were sorry for bumping him, we did have a driver’s license and we even showed it to him- but that was not good enough! He wanted us to give him the license! We asked why over and over again but he just kept yelling: “Give it to me or I will call the police!” Um…NO! I’m pretty sure he wanted to intimidate us and get some “collateral” so that we would have to give him $$$ in order to get back the license. Well Hubby, being the great driver he is, backed up on the high way that was completely crowded by cars and speed around crazy angry man’s car. I think at that moment I was about to puke! I’ve never had those types of nerves running throughout my body! Warning: Stay away from all black Toyota SUVs! I am NEVER driving to BIG CITY….EVER!!!!  

Well, it’s been a loooong day! And I’m so ready to jump into bed! Please keep Pr-ying for our visas! As it is we won’t be starting language school till mid-Aug, and I’m so ready to be able to understand what is going on around me!



Home Sweet Home

....and by home I mean our language house. We've had so many "homes" in the past 6 months that sometimes I get confused! So our week in Meeting City ended up going fairly well. I think it is best described as the Wilds (camp) for adults (minus the fun games!) mixed with a bit of family reunion and some first day of high school. It was a bit hard going through all the "meetings" with jet lag. At home we tried to stay busy all day long before we would crash at 8 pm. Sitting for long period of time doesn't really yell "STAY AWAKE" to my oh so tired body. However, we made it through (I might have fallen asleep during a pr-yer or two, but come on- you know you have too!) We didn't have much free time, but every chance we got we brought the kiddos to the pool. How crazy is it that we live in SEA but there is no where to SWIM near our language house! But hey there are other benefits to living in SEA- like the other night some ladies let me tag along for a ladies night out. I spent a whole $12 for an hour long massage!!! Wow my $40 manicure in the states (don't ask!) doesn't compare!

Today we flew back to Language City- who would have guessed that the same sugar passing out lady from Sunday would be on this flight, sitting right by us again! Seriously!!! What are the odds??? Anyway, her and her family are super sweet! Brooklyn fell asleep towards the beginning of the flight (such a blessing to have a quiet baby!) so we weren't given too much candy, but MJ was able to speak with the husband a bit (stinkin language barrier!) and they did switch cell numbers. Pr-y for that relationship (I'm pretty sure only G-d's hand would have put us on the same flight twice!).

One last thing, we were supposed to start language school July 5th, but our Visas still aren't ready :( Right now its looking like Visas will be ready on July 10th, we will take our Out of Country Visa run shortly after, and then start school in the beginning of August. Hopefully we will be able to get a language tutor to help us for the next month so we aren't here just wasting time for the next month. Oh yes, and MJ is supposed to be going to visit Final City with in the next two weeks if all works out! Keep us in your pr-yers!

One day at a time...

Sunday- travel to Annual Meeting City. I didn't type a post yesterday (Sun) for 2 reasons: 1-I had not had anytime all day to talk to Hubby (he's pretty high up on my priority list, like on top of blogging- by far!) and 2-I feared my constant flow of tears might ruin the keyboard! Yes, it's true - I hit my breaking point! We were just getting settled into Language City and 6 days later we need to take a 2 hour flight to Meeting City. Travel with 2 little ones is just rough- then throw in dirty bathrooms, carrying a stroller up several flights of stairs (no elevator in the airport- seriously!), and the non English speaking woman sitting near you continually handing your cute adorable children CHOCOLATE! After the flight, we had a  45 min car ride to the hotel. Due to all the distractions, Little B had not gotten a nap and decided to throw herself on the floor of the lobby as we are meeting our supervisor's wife. We finally got checked in and arrived at our room...our 4 person room...with only 2 twin beds...and it was on the second floor with no elevator! I know it sounds so dumb, but this was my breaking point! (As Big B saw me crying she asked why I was sad. I said "Mommy is just tired." She got all serious and said, "You cry when you miss someone or you are hurt- so which is it?" Boy do I love that girl!) Well despite my bad attitude, The Father still took care of my needs...or maybe this would be classified as a want! We were able to switch to another location- about a 5 min walk away, but it was a little 2 bedroom cottage. The hotel staff was going to get our room ready while we grabbed some quick dinner. Quick dinner turned into long dinner at Fancy Restaurant - did I mention Brooklyn's lack of a nap? When we finally were able to get to our new room, I noticed that Meeting City's idea of a crib was a little different from mine- not only was it a drop side, but the rail itself was only about a foot tall- I'm pretty sure Little B would have fun climbing out of it in the middle of the night, possibly splitting her head open on the 

nice tile floor! At that moment Little B also thought it was a great time to grab this fun looking paper bag off the counter- the one with a glass hiding underneath it-SMASH!!! ahhhh!!! This is too much for Momma today! Again, the tears come! I just want to be home!!! I called J&J to help with the crib situation- they are awesome! Not only did they know where I could get a pack'n'play, but J also reminded me of something so important- despite all the craziness going on, The Father has a purpose for bringing me here! I know, I forget these obvious things so easily! When you are trying to remember how to say 'Sorry' in New Language (I can't tell you how often I need to apologize over here!), everything else just seems to slip your mind! Thanks J for that loving reminder! And thanks Daddy for using J to remind me! 

Monday- day of meetings. Yeah, I know you want to read all about meetings- don't worry, I'll just skip to the good parts like when I showed up for the class I signed up for -'managing your budget' (you know, the one all the coupon mom's attend since they can't get free groceries in SEA) and realized that only men were in the class because its actually about managing business finances! Oops! And then the best parts of the day, when I picked Little B up from child care and she jumped up in my arms and squeezed me tighter than she ever has before and when we got to take our girls swimming in the BEAUTIFUL pool here (did I mention we are right on the ocean??? It's gorgeous here)! And it only took 45 min for me to sunscreen the girls up- no way I'm letting them get burnt! 

Anyways, things are starting to calm down. We are slowly getting over our jet lag. And we are LOVING life n SEA! Thanks for lifting us up to The Father- He is taking great care of us! Oh and I do miss you all-- maybe that truly is the reason why the tears kept coming, after all 5 year olds do know everything :)

So much too say...

Wow! I seriously should have done this months ago! I've never done a blog, but as I stood in my kitchen over whelmed by everything going on around me, I decided to finally give in! Yes, I am officially a BLOGGER!

So here goes- I'll try to condense the past week as too not overwhelm anyone else. Saturday-Monday is a big blur (minus when Betina threw up all over the airport in Germany- I remember that very clearly!) We arrived at our Language house with our 10 suitcases and began unloading (it was close to bedtime, but we were obviously NOT tired- 11 hour time change can do that to you!) Now...where should all the stuff go? These wardrobes have one shelf each and no drawers! How do I stack 12 pairs of size 2T pants without them toppling over? And only one little medicine cabinet for all my toiletries- who are you trying to kid? And the crib- doesn't anyone know the drop side have been recalled? This is the momment when my Father grabs me and says, "Child, its going to be OK!" Plus, didn't I learn in VA that things would be "different"- not wrong, not weird, just different! Deep breath! We can do this!

Tuesday - first trip to the market! Now when I was asked a few months ago if hubby and I could drive stick shift, it was never mentioned that the steering wheel was on the wrong...I mean opposite side of the car and that people here drive on the wro...opposite side of the road (well besides the crazy scooter...ehm...motorcycle drivers- they drive where ever they please! oh and here, they have the right of way! Yes when they pull out right in front of you and you need to slam on your brakes, its ok- thats NORMAL here!) Lets just say it will be a while before I become a taxi driver (or even a soccer mom- actually they like badminton (badmitten???) here so I guess its actually a batminton mom in SEA). OK Back to the market- At this moment the blurriness sets in again. Something about fish heads, weighing eggs in a bag, and $2 for a liter of milk!  Maybe I'll figure that all out next time!

Wednesday- trip to Big City! Due to jet lag, hubby and I decided it was ok for him to go see a 2.5 hour movie (plus traffic driving too and from, so lets just round up to oh...6 hours!) with the guys while the girls and I were shauffered around Big City to get some nessesary items like a potty seat (potty training and squaty potties just dont mesh well), bath basin (my Little B doesn't really like water spraying at her face while J&J's tear free soap drips in her eyes- there were LOTs of tears!), and dont forget the salsa (I'm pretty sure my MIL put salsa in my hubby's baby bottles). We also were in search of an umbrella stroller (you know the $12 ones they sell at walmart?)- well the strollers here were about 1699900...so after I got out my handy dandy converter (dont judge!), I realized they were $170! Apparently its a luxury here to push your 28lb baby around rather than carrying her in a scarf wrapped around your body a few times! Oh well- Guess I'll carry her around and grab a Magnum Ice Cream bar for $0.99 instead (if you have never tried one of these- head to your local walmart immediatly! goodbye Dove bars!) My Father knew I needed to live in a place where ice cream was available 24/7! Thank you Daddy!

Thursday- time to rest! Our wonderful guide (she is the wonderful woman who picked out and furnished our house and has been sacrificing her time to aid this helpless family! she's amazing!) decided to let us rest a bit! Today was picnic day with some great friends! So glad J&J and Little G are here! I'm not sure what we ate for lunch, it looked...different (my new fav. word!) but honestly, it was delish!

Friday- first adventure without a translator! Hubby decided it would be fun to take a taxi to Big City (we might die if we tried to drive ourselves), so off we went! It was nice to have some family alone time and to go to a mall that made us feel at home (minus no one speaking our language- "Bathroom?"... "Oh Barfume!" motions for us to follow...to the parfume! (how can i communicate "potty break" without this being too awkward!) "Um...change diaper?" as I pull out a diaper..."Oh ok, follow" as she leads us to the diaper aisle... "NO! I have diapers, I just need to put my 2 year old on a potty now because we are potty training and she might pee on your floor!" No, I didn't actually say that! Eventually I found Little B a potty and she was still DRY! Mom on the other hand got soaked from the crazy faucet trying to wash hands- live and learn!) We did manage to find a taxi and get home safely- my man is wonderful!

Before I go, I wanted to add some encouragement to all this craziness! Big B keeps asking us how to say "The Father" in SEA language. Then she ran around the park saying "Daddy." (even if she cant tell her friends the whole story, she will tell them his name!) A few minutes later she asked how to say "heart." I asked her why she wanted to say heart- she looked at me with the most precious look and said "Because I wanna tell my friends at the park that Daddy hearts them!" Despite all the uncertainty going on around us, there is one thing I always know- Daddy hearts me! Thanks Big B for reminding me!